Right now it feels like the cost of just about everything is rising, and if price tags and bill statements aren’t enough to remind us, society at large certainly won’t let us forget about it. A few months ago the media focus was on energy bills before shifting to the spike in inflation — which according to the Office for National Statistics currently stands at 10.1%. Nowadays we can’t turn on the TV, tune into the radio or scroll our social media timelines for more than a few minutes without somebody reminding us of the dreaded cost of living crisis.

For those of us looking for jobs this can undoubtedly present a dilemma, making what is already often an unpopular process — job hunting — even more unpleasant. This is especially the case when it seems that salary transparency is seriously lacking in job adverts. To give you an idea of the extent of the problem, an investigation by HR publication People Managing People carried out in 2022 found that 35% of UK job ads don’t include salaries.

There are a number of reasons why this is problematic. For a start it’s off-putting to have to consider devoting precious time and effort towards an application for a job which could be offering far less money than you’re seeking. This is probably why a study by job search site Talent.com found that 86% of people think employers should be required to disclose salary ranges in job descriptions.

And let’s not forget that if we don’t know what jobs are offering new candidates, how on earth are we supposed to gauge what salary we should be aiming for based on our experience? “Ultimately it’s really difficult to know what your skills are worth, if you’re being paid fairly or if you can expect to be paid more, unless you have that level of transparency,” says Ellie Austin-Williams, financial coach and founder of This Girl Talks Money.

She continues: “It’s particularly important for women as well, in a sense that women typically don’t tend to negotiate as hard and ask for as much as men. So if you don’t have salary transparency there’s a very high chance that women will end up being paid less than men for exactly the same jobs.”

For Mary Wells* it was inexperience which landed her in a position where she had to turn down a job offer because of the salary. “Earlier on in my career I’d apply for a job that was in line with my experience and interests but there’d be no salary advertised,” she tells The Frugality. “Back then I didn’t have the confidence to ask what the salary was throughout the recruitment process, I just went to the interview and waited to hear back from the company.

“One time I ended up getting offered a job, at which point the HR officer let me know what the salary was. It was really disappointing and much lower than I was hoping for so I had to turn down the offer. Luckily for me I’d had a lot of interviews around that time and I ended up getting a much better paid offer not long after. I’ve definitely learned from that experience and now I always make sure I ask what the salary is before I apply for anything.”

If you’ve ever looked for jobs online it’s likely you’ll have come across ads that conveniently forget to mention what you can expect to be compensated. You might find that instead of a salary they’ve written something vague like ‘Dependent on experience’ or ‘£ Competitive’. This makes things more difficult for prospective applicants and can also begin to breed mistrust, so it’s useful to know why companies and recruiters do this and what it might mean.

“A lot of the job ads that don’t contain salaries are fake recruiter ads and this is the biggest insider secret from a recruitment point of view,” explains career coach and former recruiter Pamela Langan. “[They do this because] recruiters need to keep their pipelines of candidates fresh as they’re constantly on the phone to employers trying to find jobs. And then when they find the job they need a candidate to send over for an interview.”

But what about cases where the job ads are genuine? “If they include a salary range they know they’re only going to get people within that range or maybe one or two that might try to push the boundaries a little bit,” Pamela tells The Frugality. “So they’ll see what they can get for the money. When a candidate comes through they’ll ask them ‘what salary are you on right now?’. What I tell my clients to do is, rather than telling them their salary — because actually they’ve got no right to know and there’s no legal requirement to tell them — instead say what their salary expectations for that role are. So even if that means a massive pay rise for my client, the job they’re applying for is what they should be getting paid for, not an amount based on their previous role.”

If you do ever find yourself in an awkward exchange with a hiring manager about a salary, it’s important to remember to remain firm instead of buckling and accepting an offer that you’re unhappy with. As a result, you may even find that the company you’re applying to has a change of heart. “One of the brands that I said no to actually came back and said they’d like to raise their offer, but I had already decided by that point that I was no longer interested,” says Tom Bourlet who’s now head of marketing at Fizzbox.

“Another actually seemed disappointed that I wasn’t interested in taking a pay cut to join them, as if that was ever an option. The role was a higher position, managing a team of six, yet the wage was significantly lower than my pay grade at the time and about half of what that role would be offering if you looked in the local area,” he says. “So I was blunt and explained this to them, but also that their job description was ridiculous in what it expected [for the money].”

If you take anything away from reading this, it should be that you should always, without exception, try to confirm a salary before applying for a job. While there’s no guarantee that recruiters will be forthcoming with the information it’s certainly worth enquiring. “There’s absolutely no reason not to ask. Ask the recruiter or ask the company before you go through the effort,” says Ellie. “Applying for a job is not easy and it takes a lot out of you going through that process. So if you’re doing that only to get to the end of it and realise that actually it’s not paying what you would like to be paid then you’ve put in a whole lot of time and energy into something which ultimately you could have saved yourself from.”

As I write this, the sun is shining. And this year, warm summer days are more welcome than ever, because as energy prices rise, we’re all having to think twice before turning up the thermostat. It’s not currently advised for us to switch energy provider at all; this used to be the best way of keeping your bills low but since there is no such thing as cheap energy right now, the most efficient and quickest way to save money is to simply use less energy.

While I don’t claim to be an energy expert, I have done a fair bit of research on how to use less of it, which I originally did in my quest to power my life more sustainably. That research is now coming in handy where my bills are concerned too; these are my top seven tips for using less energy and saving money.

1. Deal with the obvious stuff first, like turning the lights off!

OK, some of these things may sound really obvious, but are you actually doing all of them? According to the Energy Saving Trust, it could save you a fair bit of money over the course of a year. For example, these are the average savings for a three bedroom house in the UK:

Turning appliances off rather than leaving on standby = £55 

Not using a tumble drier = £60

Not overfilling the kettle = £11

Another simple thing to do is switch to LED light bulbs, which use 75% less energy than traditional ones, and also last much longer. When every little bit counts, the small things are worth it.

2. Turn the thermostat down by just 1ºC

You’re probably not using the heating much right now, but come autumn keep an eye on your thermostat. Turning it down by just 1ºC can make a difference and save you money right away. According to a report by USwitch in 2020, 2.7 million households in the UK have their thermostats set to a positively balmy 25ºC (hotter than Tenerife!), but the recommended temperature is somewhere between 18ºC and 21ºC depending on the house and who lives in it (for example elderly people should opt for the warmer end of the scale). If in doubt, try turning it down by one degree at a time until you reach a temperature that everyone in the house – and your bank balance – is comfortable with. In our home, we’re cool with 18ºC and an optional blanket.

3. Wash your clothes less frequently

I am a big advocate of washing your clothes less often for many reasons, and one of them is that it saves loads of energy. When you do wash them, however, doing it more consciously could also save you some cash. For example, by doing one less wash a week and reducing the temperature to 30º, you could save £28 per year.

4. Get a smart meter

You can get a smart meter free from your energy provider (most are currently installing them but you’ll need to check your area) and it tells them exactly what energy you have used, so you won’t get stung by overestimated bills again. We’ve found that the meter really makes us keep track of how much we are using because it shows us the cost in real time. Ours is especially useful because we don’t have gas central heating and power the whole house on electricity, and it has allowed us to experiment with how we use our boiler; for example, we’ve found that heating the water tank for a short period overnight is the cheapest way of doing it.

5. Think about the spare room

Make sure you turn off the radiators in any rooms you’re not currently using. And then shut the door! You don’t want the heat from the rooms you are using to be wasted in there. We also close the bathroom door after we’ve used it in the morning for the same reason.

6. Buy part of a wind farm (yes, really!)

We’ve recently done a full renovation on our house. It wasn’t connected to gas and we didn’t want it to be, so we researched renewable energy solutions and I’ll be honest, it was a bit of a nightmare. Solar panels and heat pumps were too expensive for our budget, so I’m now exploring the idea of buying part of a wind farm instead through Ripple Energy. It might sound mad, but essentially, you pay as little as £25 for your share (but it makes better sense to buy more if you can afford it), and you get that allocated amount of energy at cost price, which at the moment is MUCH cheaper. Plus, unlike solar panels and heat pumps, if you move house your share of the wind farm just moves with you. Solar Together offers similar community solar projects in selected parts of the UK.

7. Use your kitchen better

Other than only boiling the amount of water you actually need in the kettle, there are lots of other ways to use your kitchen more efficiently. For example, we’ve taken to leaving the oven door open after cooking so that it heats up the room (we have an open plan kitchen diner so this is really efficient for us, and the oven isn’t at floor level, so not dangerous for the dog!). Boiling on the hob is twice as quick if you just add a lid, and opting for a hob ring that’s unnecessarily large will use more energy than you need. And it pains me to say this, because I do love an oven baked potato, but cooking it in the microwave instead uses a whopping 75% less energy.

Laura Whateley shares some tips {In partnership with Chip}

With the cost of living crisis looming, I’m dreading my new energy tariff which arrives any day soon, saving might not be at the forefront of your mind. 

Certainly I am guilty of thinking about putting money aside as a ‘make hay while the sun shines’ kind of activity. But every financial adviser and debt charity I have spoken to says it is when money is tight that you need to focus on creating more of a cushion for yourself.

The most common reason people get into unmanageable debt is an expense that they didn’t see coming and have no savings to cover, which means they have to borrow at short notice, and usually at great expense, to fund it. 

I also know I could probably save more than I think I can afford. Writing as an elderly millennial here, it’s amazing how quickly the years pass and a few extra pounds a week, plus compounding interest, adds up.

Here are a few tips on how to put more aside without noticing too much.

Pay yourself first

Don’t wait to see how much is left over at the end of the month before you decide how much you can afford to save.

Work backwards, how much do you want/ need to save each month? As soon as your salary lands, move that sum away to a separate account so you’re not tempted to touch it. If you need to get hold of it, it’s there, but adding a bit of friction always helps.

You can automate this with the app Chip’s new Payday Put Away feature, setting a custom amount that is moved into savings, from your current account, at the end of the month without you having to do anything. 

Research by Chip found that those who put money aside on payday save 114 per cent more, an average of £168.47, a month (about £2,000 a year), and are also likely to keep money in their savings account for longer. Out of sight out of mind.

Chip also uses AI to analyse your current account and work out how much you can afford to save, moving small amounts of money every few days into an easy-access savings account, automatically (and the account pays a decent interest rate compared to most banks).

The idea is you don’t really feel it day to day, but it’s enough to make a difference over time. The average user puts away £3,000 a year (and if you sign up via this link and use the code PAYDAY10 you get £10 added to your account!).

Take on a savings challenge

On a constant quest to be a more organised person, I am a sucker for any productivity “hacks” and I love the book ‘Tiny Habits’ by the behavioural scientist BJ Fogg. The gist is: start tiny, make it as easy as possible for yourself, and before you know it, that thing you hate will be second nature. Then you can build it up.

E.g. if you want to not feel guilty at the dentist, start flossing just one tooth per evening.

In the same vein, if you want to save more money, begin with a few pennies every day.

Try the 365 day savings challenge: save £1 on a Monday, £2 on a Tuesday through to £7 on a Sunday. In 12 months you’ll have £1,500. Or the 1p challenge: 1p on day one, 2p on day 2 through to £3.65. It amounts to about £668 at the end of the year. 

Deal with your debts 

Interest rates on most loans and credit cards are many, many times higher than interest rates on savings.

So it makes sense that you’ll save more by using any spare cash on paying down your debts than you will squirrelling it in a cash account. There is some psychology involved here. If you have a lot of credit card debt that feels totally overwhelming to tackle, then having some savings, too, may help you sleep better.

 But if the main issue is you’ve just shoved some shopping on a card and have forgotten about it, clearing minimum payments only, make clearing debt your focus. Take advantage of 0% balance and purchase credit cards, too. 

Maximise all bonuses and tax-breaks on savings accounts

Interest rates on savings accounts might start creeping up from their abysmal lows, but it’ll take ages to earn anywhere near inflation.  It’s still worth thinking about where to keep your different savings pots. Dividing savings up between short, medium and long term, and different goals like emergency fund, holidays, new kitchen, can help keep you motivated.

Look at regular savings accounts, current accounts that pay interest, and accounts from challenger banks and apps like Chip, which are often more generous than cash Isas from your more traditional high street banks.

Look at regular savings accounts and current accounts that pay interest, which are often more generous than cash Isas and easy-access accounts.

Make the most of any “free” money. Open a lifetime Isa if you’re saving to get on the housing ladder, you get an additional government bonus of up to £1,000 a year, for every £4,000 you save, towards your deposit. You can also use this money instead of a pension. 

If you are employed you’ll probably have a pension with work. Tempting as it is to pause contributions or even come out of the scheme if you’re feeling the pinch, try to avoid it. You get really generous tax breaks and your employer pays in on top. Missing out on this is like turning down a pay rise.

Review all your bills 

Sounds obvious, but it’s always tempting to leave it to another day. Look at what you’re paying out and whether you can cut back. When did you last switch broadband or car insurance? You’ll almost certainly be charged a loyalty penalty if you haven’t “shopped around”. What about your mobile phone? (SIM only with a handset bought on a 0% credit card will be cheaper than most other options). 

If you have a mortgage, when does your deal end? Rates are rising and just 1 per cent increase adds about £70 a month onto a mortgage of £150,000. Don’t sit on your lender’s standard variable rate. I got super lucky with timing but managed to save £100 a month by switching when my fixed-rate deal ended this year. 

Go through all those subscriptions that you signed up for and have since forgotten about.

And while you’re doing it, be conscious of a lifestyle creep. Whether it’s a pay rise or a bit more cash from a cheaper phone deal, try not to spend your mini windfall. I’ve pledged to save that extra £100 a month before I start to miss it.

This post was in collaboration with Chip, an amazing savings app (already used by 400,000 people) and if you sign up between 25th March and 22nd April using code PAYDAY 10, Chip will add an extra £10 to your savings pot!

*This article is provided for information and educational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice. You are advised to consult with an independent financial advisor for advice on your specific circumstances.*

Sorting out our pension can seem incredibly daunting, which is why it’s something we often push to the bottom of our to-do list. You might not have a pension at all, or perhaps you’ve stopped contributing or find yourself reluctant to add more to your pot. Whatever the case, don’t worry: it’s never too late to get started, and it’s not nearly as complicated as you might think. 

Saving into a pension is especially pertinent for women because, on average, we tend to live longer but retire with less than half the income of men. There are myriad elements that come into play to make this happen, including the gender pay gap, complex jargon, a lack of confidence and the motherhood penalty. If you took time off to have children, for example, it’s likely that you stopped contributing to your pension without even realising. Add the high cost of childcare and missed potential promotions to the picture, and you’ll find that your career and pensions are suffering because of the ‘motherhood penalty’. The best way to try to bridge this is to plan ahead with your employer, but also with your partner (if you have one). Together, you can look at your collective income and see if you could afford childcare to both stay in employment. If you’d prefer to take time off work, have a conversation about your partner potentially contributing to your pension on your behalf. 

Is the State Pension enough?

You might think that the government will support you in old age, but unfortunately, the State Pension alone might not be enough for you to comfortably live on. While you can qualify for the full State Pension if you have contributed to National Insurance for at least 35 years, the sum sits at just over £9,350 a year (you can check your state pension forecast here). Note that the state pension age is currently 66 but will start increasing over the coming years, so it’s important to think about additional pension savings or income to secure a stress-free retirement.

Claiming Child Benefit helps your pension

Don’t forget to claim Child Benefit if you are planning to or already have children. Child Benefit is an allowance, usually paid monthly (£21.15 a week for your first child and £14 per week for other children). While the sum isn’t huge, what’s important here is that the person who claims it will get National Insurance credits towards their state pension if they aren’t working. This means that even if you’re not qualified to get the allowance (eg. if either you or your partner earn over the £50,000 tax-free limit), you should still claim it so you don’t miss out on National Insurance contributions (NICs), as these could affect your eligibility to claim the state pension.

Make your money work hard

If you’re already saving – well done! Cash savings provide a vital safety net that you can fall back on should things go awry. Once you have emergency savings squirrelled away and repaid your expensive short-term debts, it’s time to think about investing for the long term. Since your investments compound over time, they make your money work harder for you and give your savings a boost. The earlier you start investing, the more you’ll benefit in the long-run — stock markets tend to perform better than cash over the long haul, so think 5-10 years +. 
Remember that pensions are invested in the stock market (in assets such as stocks and shares, bonds, cash and property), so if you have a pension you’re already an investor! You can consider investing in the stock market with a Stocks & Shares ISA or a Lifetime ISA, but that’s a subject for another day.

Are private pensions worth it?

In addition to your state pension, you can also save money into a private pension. When you put money into your pension, you get tax relief on your contributions, which means that some of your money that would have gone to the government as tax goes into your pension instead, and your pension grows largely tax free. You can access your private pension from age 55 (57 in 2028). There are 2 types of private pensions: 

• A workplace pension is a pension you’ll typically have if you are employed and is arranged by your employer. You are normally auto-enrolled to a workplace pension (defined contribution scheme), and at least 8% of your monthly earnings will automatically be invested into your pension each month (5% from you, and a minimum of 3% from your employer). It’s also important to check whether your employer is matching your contributions, as it will help your pot grow faster. 
• A personal pension is a pension you choose to open and pay into yourself. You’re allowed to have a personal pension as well as your workplace pension and state pension. The most common type of Personal Pension is a Self-Invested Personal Pension (SIPP). If you’re avoiding sorting out your pension as a self-employed person, you’re not alone. According to the IPSE, only 31% of self-employed people pay into a pension. The reasons for this vary, from having a variable income to worrying about running out of cash. But remember, it’s completely okay if contributing monthly doesn’t always work out! Progress isn’t linear. 

Connect with future you

Now, let’s talk about giving your pension a good ole’ boost! To start, you need to have a rough idea of how much you need to be putting away toward your retirement. Connect with future you, and really picture the lifestyle you’d want. Then, you can use a pension calculator to figure out how much money you will have in your pension pot at the end of your working life and what that means in terms of your retirement income.

Automate to accumulate

Try to automate your savings and investments. It sometimes feels like it’s never the right time to save or invest, so setting up a monthly direct debit the day you get paid, based on your budget and your goals, will help you save consistently and smooth out your returns. If you’re worried about not knowing how to invest your pension, take some time to learn about investing, consult a professional and leverage existing tools and platforms such as robo-advisers or use ready-made portfolios. A quick online search for “Robo-advisers UK” will yield plenty of helpful comparison websites that offer reviews, minimum deposits required, products on offer (ISA, pensions), as well as general pros and cons.

Consolidate old pensions

Find old pensions you may have from previous jobs. It can be useful to consolidate your pensions because it’ll help you see if you’re on track to meet your goals and requires less admin. However, make sure that consolidation makes sense for you, as you could potentially lose valuable benefits. In these instances, it’s always best to consult a financial adviser for a tailored approach.

Make the most of your allowance if you can. You can contribute the maximum of 100% of your earnings in a year or £40,000 a year (annual allowance). You should be mindful of the £1mn lifetime allowance (the limit on how much you can build up in pension benefits over your lifetime while still enjoying the full tax benefit).

Plan together

Remember to talk about pensions with your partner, and always plan together. You can pay into each other’s pensions – if your partner is not earning, you can pay up to £3,600 per annum into your partner’s pension if they are not working (£2,880 before tax relief) and you can also add to their pensions if they work.

Trying to get to grips with your pension can feel exhausting, but it’s well worth your time. If you think you need additional support, you may be able to get pension awareness and education sessions through your workplace, but there are plenty of free resources online (visit the government website MoneyHelper), too. To get individualised support and advice about your pension, always speak to a financial adviser. But regardless of the route you decide to take, remember that paying a little more attention to your pension today will make a big difference to your future, so why not start now? 

I started this blog back in 2012, I launched on January 1st as I knew that this time of year is always good to think more mindfully about a few things. And for me, it was financially. Doing a little spring clean and re prioritising my goals and how I viewed my money and finances was integral to getting to the place I am now in life.

As our building work is calming down, last year we managed to pay off our credit card accumulated from the kitchen building work and we have just managed to pay back a loan we took out for our kitchen. All of these actions mean we have over £100 each extra a month and we can finally start thinking about saving and planning a bit more for the future.

It hasn’t been easy and in a world where talking finances and being careful with money isn’t exactly ‘cool’ it has been hard to stick to budgeting, but the satisfaction that comes with being debt-free and understanding my money is definitely worth it.

So, they’re not exactly ‘sexy’ but here are my new commitments to feeling a bit more financially empowered this year!

CANCEL UNUSED SUBSCRIPTIONS/DIRECT DEBITS

January is often when subscriptions start renewing so it’s always a good idea to check off some that might be gathering dust. This year we sadly cancelled our Tate membership, as much as we loved it we just haven’t been enough times to warrant the cost and plan to renew once the kids are older. It’s worth looking into whether you’d be financially better off paying some subscriptions up front instead of direct debit (if you can afford to). Try calling around and switching things like insurance or gas and electricity, you can often get a better deal simply by calling and asking.

CHECK MY BANKING DAILY

As someone who used to keep my head in the sand about my finances, this is the most important thing I do. I know where every penny goes, which direct debits come out (both personally and our joint account) and can see immediately if I’ve been overcharged or there is an anomaly. It sounds so simple but you’d be surprised at how many people don’t do this.

USE AN AUTOMATED SAVINGS APP

I started using the award-winning Chip app a few years ago and it has helped us save towards holidays and home renovations but it has also made me realise that saving any amount helps. Using its clever algorithm, you can link your bank account and the app withdraws small amounts that you can ‘afford’ without missing it (don’t worry, it analyses millions of transactions to work this out!). The idea to save ‘smarter, not harder’ (plus its savings accounts are FSCS eligible).

Chip is free, you can pause autosaves and withdraw your money at any time and you can set a minimum amount you wish to leave in your bank account (mine is always set to £100). You are totally in control and set the savings rating for you – from 1 (Take Your Time) to the highest at 5 (Serious Stuff) – and as it’s January, mine is currently set to 2!

There are also extra functions such as Payday Put Away (an automatic weekly or monthly amount), you can allocate a percentage of savings towards goals (ours is Japan!). Chip has over 400,000 users already saving with them and says that their AI and Savings goals mean that Chip savers save on average £3,000 more a year. I love that it isn’t all about a huge end goal, it’s the little saves that count. You can download the app to start saving here (and if you use the code FRUGALI22 and save £1, Chip will add £20 to your account to help you start!).

FOCUS ON MY PENSION

We only started our pension two years ago, so we’ve got a bit of catching up to do – but better late than never! We started small but this year we will review it and look to increase our payments. There is a huge Freelancer pension gap (as well as a female one!) so it is so important to try and start one if you feel able. I still don’t know a lot about how they work but Laura Whateley’s book on ‘Money: A user’s guide’ is a great place to start.

PLAN OUR MEALS

This is something we consistently do in our household (albeit a few more takeaways last year with our newborn!) but this year I will be sharing more of our meal planning journey. I have always been a bit scared of sharing too much food content as it has never looked very ‘Instagrammable’ but this year I will be doing away with preconceived ideas of how meals ‘should’ look and posting and sharing more about how we budget and plan our meals without waste. If it helps spur anyone on and continues to help us in the process, that’s always a good thing.

This post was in partnership with Chip, the app that has finally helped us save! Code FRUGALI22 gets you £20 free when you sign up (valid 7th – 31st January 2022 Terms and Conditions here).

But in the recent flood of books and blogs and podcasts, I worry we’re not having the whole conversation. And that’s because we’re not talking about economic abuse. Even when we are. I was moved to read this powerful piece on The Frugality about a woman’s ex-husband who ran her into thousands of pounds of debt, causing extreme stress and anxiety. She warns us how blindly we walk into joint bank accounts but how hard they are to extract yourself from if something goes wrong. I was amazed to see that she was so clearly a victim-survivor of economic abuse but she didn’t mention that phrase once. That may have been her prerogative but I also wonder if she knew the term. I wouldn’t be surprised if she hadn’t – it has only just been recognised in law for the first time this year. 

To understand economic abuse, I think it is important to appreciate how, as a society, we think about money and relationships. When you find yourself living with a partner there’s no guidebook on how finances should be worked out between you both. For many, we replicate our parents because that seems normal to us. As does, traditionally, in hetronormative relationships at least, men taking a more active role in household finances. For a long time, women have been told, in and out of the home, that money is men’s territory, especially as they are paid more, and even though that is changing, it’s certainly not changing fast enough. We’ve also been told – in marriage especially – what’s mine is yours and everything should be shared.

And this is a very dangerous cultural backdrop for a type of abuse centred around finances and economic resources where the majority of perpetrators are men and majority of the victims are women. 1 in 5 adults in the UK have experienced economic abuse and 60% are women. Much like we saw domestic abuse rocket under lockdown, Surviving Economic Abuse (SEA), the UK’s only charity dedicated to the issue, saw a staggering 257% increase in web traffic. So what exactly is it? 

According to Nicola Sharp-Jeffs, CEO of SEA, economic abuse is where “one partner controls, exploits or sabotages the other partner’s money, finances or economic resources, in order to control them”. And it can take many forms. 

For example, through my work as a journalist I’ve met women whose ex-partners refuse to pay child maintenance in order to push the family into poverty. I’ve met women whose partners have stolen savings. I have met women whose partners have withdrawn large sums from a shared overdraft that the bank now wants back and are threatening court action to the victim left trying to pay off the debt and facing repossession of their home. Perpetrators will bleed their victims dry financially or cut them off, controlling the household expenses, demanding receipts and denying them basic dignities, sometimes even food. For some women, the control of the finances is reinforced by violence.

Economic abuse works like other types of domestic abuse – it is a cruel drip, drip, drip of control. Consequently, it can take a while for a person to realise what is happening. 

So how do you spot the signs? 

• Secrecy about finances: Is your partner open about their money? If your partner keeps this from you, do you know why?
• Independent accounts: Does your partner insist everything is shared? Are they comfortable with you having private savings or accounts? 
• Quitting work: Has your partner suggested you shouldn’t work anymore? Making a person financially dependent is a powerful way to control them
• Keeping tabs: Does your partner ask you to keep receipts of what you spend? Do you feel you need their permission before you buy anything? 
• Joint products: Has your partner insisted everything is in your name? Has he named you in any of his financial products, like a mortgage, a flat or a car? By doing this, you become responsible for those products and any associated debt. 
• Fair share: Is your partner asking you to pay for more and more things? Does the household feel fairly run between you both? 

Recognising abuse when it is happening to you is a very hard thing to do, and now, when we’re having to spend more time at home than ever, accessing help might seem harder than ever too. But there is support out there. If you think you are experiencing economic abuse, SEA has a wealth of information on its website. 

When we talk about empowering women with their money, let’s not forget the most vulnerable. Helping women understand money might not just enable them to buy a flat or save for a pension. It could help transform a woman’s life – and perhaps even save it. 

If you think you might be experiencing economic abuse, phone the police in the first instance. You can also contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline for support on 0808 2000 247. For more information and resources to support you visit the website www.survivingeconomicabuse.org.

I have switched up the accounts I follow lately and have been really inspired by all the money accounts that are talking, sharing and supporting rather than skirting around money topics. It has been part of my decision to separate my accounts slightly and focus @thefrugality Instagram on more of a community. I used to think of Instagram as a purely creative, visual platform for sharing photographs but with the rise of activism and intellectual platforms growing, I have found myself more and more drawn to quotes, infographics, workshops and discussions outside of the app. These are just a few of the great money accounts I follow:

@moneymedics

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Moneymedics is an infotainment platform helping millennials (and others!) to break down financial jargon and make it accessible to everyone. The team are big on democratising investing and offer loads of real-life tips on home buying. Ashley from the team recently wrote the post on Money Apps for The-Frugality (read it here).

@alexandreholder

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Alex Holder is a journalist and the author of ‘Open Up – The Power of Talking about Money’ and host of Audible Original Podcast ‘Awkward Conversations About Money’ (out in Sept 2020). Alex isn’t afraid to delve into our emotional relationships with money and has even shared her salary to her Instagram feed as she believes transparency is the key to financial equality.

@thebreaksocial

Set up by social media guru and inspiring entrepreneur Patricia Bright, The Break is an online hub designed to help normalise discussions around money and offer tools to help women improve their lives financially, through confidence and education – her budgeting spreadsheets have been downloaded thousands of times. Patricia says: “Every day we get messages from people who’ve used our tools or seen our content and it has supported them to achieve higher heights on a personal level, start businesses, learn to invest, or make more money. That’s the reason we do this, to equip our community with resources to actually help them reach their goals.”

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@thisgirltalksmoney

Ellie set up This Girl Talks Money in 2019, bored of the same old financial information written by middle-aged white men. Her aim is to discuss all the topics around money that you didn’t learn at school: sharing insights, advice and helping women gain confidence and ownership of their money.

@go_fund_yourself

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A self-confessed finance geek, Alice Tapper is the founder and author of Go Fund Yourself : “I wanted to create a resource which made personal finance and financial news, relevant and dare I say it, entertaining?!“. Sharing simple and relatable money guides and offering free masterclasses, in June 2020 Alice launched the Klarnaa #regulateBuyNowPayLater campaign which is calling for all buy now pay later products to be regulated.

@vestpod

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Emilie Bellet is the founder and CEO of Vestpod and the author You’re Not Broke, You’re Pre-Rich. Formerly working in private equity, Emilie launched Vestpod to change the conversation about money and empower women financially, there’s a hugely popular weekly newsletter as well as workshops, networking events and a podcast – ‘The Wallet’.

@activebudgeter

Abiola is the Founder of the award-winning money community platform Active Budgeter. With a strong belief that talking about money shouldn’t be boring, the platform focuses on ‘two fins’: FINtech and FINancial education. You can download a budget tracker via the site and she has recently launched a My Money 2030 accountability campaign, encouraging community members to be bold and set themselves a money goal to reach in the next 10 years!

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@clevergirlfinance

Bola is a Certified Financial Education Instructor, finance expert, author, speaker, and founder of Clever Girl Finance, one of the largest personal finance platforms for women in the US. Fuelled by a passion to empower women and allow them to live life on their own terms, the site offers free courses, advice and tips on saving money and achieving financial wellness.

@myfrugalyear

Clare Seal created the originally anonymous Instagram account discussing her personal debt and has since amassed almost 70k followers and written ‘Real Life Money: An Honest Guide To Taking Control Of Your Finances’ as well as ‘The Real Life Money Journal’. Clare isn’t afraid to discuss the deeper causes of debt and financial difficulty and works towards getting female voices heard in an arena that often feels dominated by men.

@misslollymoney

Lisa Conway-Hughes is a financial expert working at a wealth management firm in the City of London. She is a Chartered Financial Adviser and also a Fellow of the Personal Finance Society (PFS). Lisa believes that anyone can be successful at money management if given the right tools and packs her Instagram full of easy to understand money tips and tricks. Lisa is also the author of ‘Money Lessons’, and co-hosts the ‘She’s On The Money’ podcast.

When I was growing up, whenever the topic of money was brought up, it was either because there was never enough of it or because we owed somebody money. I was never really taught about the importance of budgeting and saving, what a credit score was and why I needed to build one or why I needed to invest. Aspects of money were always spoken about in isolation, and I never had the opportunity to learn about the bigger picture. It was only as I grew up and went through the money motions such as securing my first job, paying tax, getting into debt, having a poor credit score, buying my first property and stumbling upon the concept of investing; that I realised that money is a journey and a lifelong experience.

In this read, I’m going to be taking you through all the apps and tools you can use to get the best out of your money journey.

BUDGETING 

I remember in the past I used to baulk at the word budget. Whenever I thought about it, all I could picture were scary spreadsheets and only being allowed to take cold ham sandwiches into work every day. I remember I tried a few spreadsheets here and there, but because I wasn’t great with numbers, I would always get something wrong, and I always seemed to end up with £0 at the end of the month. But it doesn’t have to be like that, we live in the digital age and have the most progressive piece of equipment in the palm of our hands, and YES, I’m talking about your mobile phone.

Here are some of the budgeting apps that you can download today, that will take the stress out of budgeting:

Yolt

Cost: Free

Availability: Android & iOS 

How it works: Yolt is an app that allows you to track all your bank accounts (current, credit & savings) all in one place, and it does this through open banking. It works by analysing your transactions and categorises your spending into buckets such as travel, food, bills, transport and much more.

Best for: Tracking spending across multiple accounts.

Pros: it has a cool feature called stealth mode where it changes your financial information to a different currency, so you can comfortably show your details to friend and family without revealing too much. 

Cons: you can’t customise the spending categories in Yolt, it doesn’t support a variety of banks.  

Money Dashboard

Cost: Free

Availability: Android & iOS 

How it works: Money Dashboard is a personal finance and budgeting planning tool that uses open banking to show you all your finances in one place. It is similar to Yolt, but it also allows you to plan your future budget using its budget planner and then shows you whether you’re staying within your budget. 

Best for: Helping you budget towards future goals. 

Pros: it’s available as a mobile app and a desktop version and supports a wide variety of banks. 

Cons: There can sometimes be a delay between making a transaction and seeing it on Money Dashboard.

Emma

Cost: Free

Availability: Android & iOS 

How it works: Emma is another app that allows you to combine all your accounts such as your credit, current, savings and investment accounts all into one place. It tracks your spending and also notifies you of upcoming commitments such as bills.

Best for: Finding wasteful subscriptions.

Pros: it supports popular investment accounts such as Wealthsimple and Nutmeg and allows you to switch broadband and energy providers. 

Cons: it offers cash back rewards, but these can only be paid into a PayPal account. 

SAVING

I always like to think about saving in two ways: a bouncy cushion that protects my bottom from the hard knocks that life sometimes gives you such as medical emergencies, job loss, family emergencies, accidental repairs and so forth. But because it’s a bouncy cushion, I can also use it to propel me towards my goals and dreams of buying property, starting a business and paying for luxuries such as holidays.

These days our lives are so complex and fast-moving, that traditional methods of saving such as putting lump sums away each month are becoming more and more difficult and quite hard to stick to at times. However, these are the savings apps that I think can keep up with our lives and are quite fun to use:

Chip

Cost: Free to download (but changes have just been made whereby you are charged £1 if they help you save more than £100 over a 28 day period, this is going up to £1.50 in October)

Availability: Android & iOS 

How it works: Chip is an automatic savings app that uses open banking and AI (artificial intelligence) to connect to your bank account, analyse your transactions and based on this analysis saves an optimal amount of money for you regularly into a virtual bank account. So it may save more money for you when you get paid but saves less when it notices that your current account is running low on funds.

Best for: automatic savings.

Pros: it is easy to set up and has a very nifty user interface.

Cons: it can sometimes take a couple of days to see your money in your bank account upon withdrawal (if taken out over a weekend, for example).

Plum

Cost: Free

Availability: Android & iOS 

How it works: Plum is a savings and investments app that also uses open banking and AI similarly to that of Chip. It also allows you to invest your savings. However, this is a paid feature.

Best for: for large savings targets. 

Pros: when you withdraw your money, it can be in your account within 30 minutes.

Cons: your automatic saves can take a little while to show up in your plum account, so although the money has left your bank account, it doesn’t automatically reflect in your Plum balance.

Cleo

Cost: Free

Availability: Android & iOS 

How it works: Cleo is a chatbot that uses AI and open banking to make money management and saving easier, it works by linking to your bank account to track your spending and then makes savings recommendations via a chatbot feature.

Best for: if you find saving annoying and want something more fun. 

Pros: it is a conversational app that engages in banter with you by either complimenting or roasting you based on how you’ve spent your money. You can also play games within the app to raise your financial awareness.

Cons: This app only offers savings function and doesn’t offer any perks such as allowing you to invest your saved money or a percentage interest on the money you’ve saved.

CREDIT SCORE

The next part is probably one that may bring a lot of embarrassment and shame to some and is not something a lot of us are open to sharing, and this is our credit score. 

Simply put; a credit score is a number that represents how likely you are to pay back money given to you by a lender, on time. There are three main scores used in the UK: Experian, Equifax & TransUnion. Your credit score is influenced by your credit history, which is a record of how you have managed money loaned to you in the past i.e. your credit cards, personal loans, whether they’re paid off, whether you paid them off in time and how many times you’ve applied for credit.

Why is it important?

The higher your score, the better, because it shows that you are not a risk to lend money to and therefore means when applying for significant lines of credit in the future such as a mortgage, a personal loan or a lease for your dream car, you are more likely to be accepted. Not only that but the interest you’ll pay back on the amount borrowed may also be lower.

How long does it take to improve your credit score? 

A low credit score can’t be fixed overnight and is something that needs to be continually worked at. As a rule of thumb, it usually takes 6-12 months to see the positive effects of credit building activities. However, there are some fantastic apps out there that will hold you accountable and help you track your credit score, and these are some of my favourites:

ClearScore

Cost: Free

Availability: Android & iOS 

How it works: ClearScore is an app that gives you your Equifax credit score. 

Best Features: it is the most straightforward credit score app to use and also shows how your credit score compares to residents in your local area.

Experian

Cost: Free for your lifetime score (£14.99/month for your credit report)

Availability: Android & iOS 

How it works: it is an app that gives you your Experian credit score. 

Best Features: the Experian credit score is one of the most recognised credit scores in the UK and is used by a lot of lenders when assessing creditworthiness.

MoneySuperMarket (Also known as Credit Monitor) 

Cost: Free

Availability: Android & iOS 

How it works: Credit Monitor is an app that gives you your TransUnion credit score. 

Best Features: it gives you a detailed breakdown of your credit report, suggestions on where you are going wrong and also the opportunity to report discrepancies in your credit report directly via the app.

INVESTING

Although to many this is probably the scariest part, I believe it to be the most important part of your money journey. Investing is the key to protecting your money and creating wealth.

One of the reasons I believe investing is important is to beat inflation and protect your money. Inflation is basically the rate at which the price of goods increases over a period of time. Let’s use a cinema ticket, for example, I remember about ten years ago, a cinema ticket would set you back around £4/£5, and now they can cost you up to £13 depending on the cinema you go to. Now I’m sure you’ve noticed the stark increase in the price over the years, and that’s exactly what inflation is. When you leave your money in a low interest saving account (or even worse, just sitting in a current account) although the amount doesn’t change, the buying power it holds is slowly being eaten away over time. 

For example, if you have £1000 in your bank account and invest this money for a small return of maybe 4%, you’ll have £1040 after a period of time. Which means your money will go up in value. Currently there are not many savings accounts that can beat the rate of inflation (which was 2% at one point in 2019) so the next best thing is to invest your money, providing you’ve paid off your debt and built an emergency fund. Please note that when you invest, your capital will be at risk.

Now we all know investing comes across as complicated and only for people that are smart and have lots of money. But that doesn’t have to be the case; I believe that investing is meant for everyone and here are some of the apps that make it easy and will get your investing today with as little as £5.

Moneybox

Cost: Free to download (you pay an annual management fee which will be based on the amount you hold in your account).

Availability: Android & iOS 

What it is: Moneybox is a micro-investment app that uses open banking to invest your spare change from transactions that you make, into low-cost funds. For example, if you purchase a coffee for £1.95. It will round up the transaction to the nearest pound and invest the spare change; you can also deposit money directly from your bank account into your investment account.

Best for: Entry-level investors that are new to investing and don’t have a lot of money to start investing with.

Pros: Easy to use and you can invest as you spend.

Cons: Due to the small amounts of change being invested it may take a long time to see your investment grow.

Nutmeg

Cost: Free to download (you pay an annual management fee which will be based on the amount you hold in your account).

Availability: Android & iOS 

What it is: Nutmeg is an online investment manager aka Robo-advisor that invests your money into low-cost exchange-traded funds and tracker funds (a fund is when you pool your money together with other investors to invest across different asset classes).

Best for: beginner to moderate investors, who may have the cash to invest but may not necessarily have the time to research extensively into stocks and shares.

Pros: Fast and easy portfolio setup.

Cons: it has a minimum investment amount of £500 to open a stocks and shares ISA. 

Hargreaves Lansdown

Cost: Free to download (you pay a fee based on any transitions that you make)

Availability: Android & iOS 

What it is: Hargreaves Lansdown is the UK’s largest stockbroker, it is an investment platform that allows you to invest your money into a wide range of asset classes over the phone or online.

Best for: experienced to advanced investors that are interested in picking individual stocks and shares and already know how to build and assess portfolios.

Pros: it lets you invest in a large variety of asset classes such as stocks, shares, funds and commodities such as gold.

Cons: the prices of their stocks and shares are delayed by 15 minutes and may differ to live stock market prices.

In summary, everyone’s money journey will be different, but there are lots of tools available at our fingertips to make our journey more comfortable. Why does it have to be a long tiresome trek up a hill, when it can be a smooth Uber ride with all our favourite music playing in the background?

Just a reminder that this article provides information for educational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice. The Frugality is not a certified financial advisor – but we hope you found this useful!

Yes, that 90p is important! I have never been any good at saving, probably because we have always ‘just about’ manage to get to payday on our wages, all the extra money is taken up by house renovations, on top of a mortgage, childcare, treats etc. I made a vow to buy less clothes this year and wanted to focus on putting money aside – we already transfer a bit at the beginning of the month for treats and bills but we never really save. And with the renovations it always feels like a ‘one day in the future’ thing to focus on.

EDIT August 2020 – Chip have started to charge £1 when they help you save over £100 over a 28 day period. This is about to go up to £1.50 in October 2020.

So I signed up to the Chip app via my phone in January (new year: new finances cliche, anyone?!). You join with your bank account and it uses a super high-tech algorithm to put aside money from your account into the app (Chip is FCA protected). The clever bit is that through the algorithm, it only takes an amount that it works out you can ‘afford’ to put aside (it compares millions of transactions to work this out), some days it might be £20, some days it might be £2.40.

For me, it takes the ‘thought’ of saving out of the equation, the app takes the money away automatically (but pre warns you via email and the app, so you can cancel the ‘save’ at any time). It also keeps the money safe but you are free to withdraw the money whenever. If you feel you need the £22.40 back that they chipped away last week? Just withdraw it the same working day.

And the images and gifs are quite hilarious, too.

I really like their light-hearted approach to money, as it shouldn’t be stressful or a chore. But it is important to make your money work for you, and through using Chip I realised how much it was possible to save when I thought, in fact, it was impossible. I even encouraged Chris to download the app and he loves it, too!

So when Chip asked if I’d think about doing a little money diary for them, I knew it’d encourage me to save even more, especially over a period of intense lockdown. Chip actually found that their users and downloads increased during coronavirus as people were thinking more about saving money and having a safety net, which is always a good thing!

So I wrote down a little diary from April – June 2020 of my savings. Bearing in mind we weren’t paying for nursery/holidays/dinners out but these were replaced with renovation costs, excessive food shops as well as unexpected roof leaks and household costs. We did a mortgage holiday but this money went straight into building work.

Here’s how I managed to put aside £774.90 in three months (which went straight into our savings AKA the building fund!).

APRIL – Chip saves

I had my app on auto save level 5 – ‘serious stuff’ – which is the highest auto save level, and you can adjust it at any time to a setting you are comfortable with.

1st £11.90

5th £11.92

9th £11.92

15th £11.92

It started slow…and then upped once I was staying in more and spending less (due to coronavirus).

19th £45.70

23rd £44.99

27th £93.84

Payday was early this month, on 24th (hence why more was taken on 27th) but I kept the amount in Chip until the end of the month (30th) before transferring into our savings.

April total: £232.19

MAY – Chip saves

1st £105.80

5th £122.84

9th £84.01

13th £76.60

14th May – although I was THRILLED to be saving £389.25 so early on in May, I knew we had a few things to shell out for with some big birthdays coming up and wanted to get a few takeaways with the stress of the building work going on in the background. I decided to move from the highest auto-save setting of ‘serious stuff’ down to auto-save level 3 ‘Goldilocks’ which is described as ‘just right’.

15th – I withdrew £89.25 and left £300 savings remaining in the app.

Chris then mentioned the ‘minimum bank balance’ feature which he had implemented so that it always leaves at least £100 in his account. I realised mine was on zero, so I added that function too so I knew I’d always have £100 contingency in my bank account.

The next day the saves lowered to:

17th £3.70  

29th £11.70

May total: £315.40

JUNE – Chip saves

2nd £44.98

6th £45.84

10th £42.26

14th £38.57

18th £20.64

22nd £35.02

22nd June – I cancelled a save for the first time since January! I knew we wanted to put extra some money aside for a wallpaperer for the bathroom, so wanted to leave more than the minimum in my account. I simply pressed pause for the rest of the month when I got the notification of a new save, and as easy as that, all was good with the world again. 

June total: £227.31

Total save April – July £774.90

Looking at the figures, it seems such an easy journey to get to just under £800 in savings, and I’ve honestly never had that much saved before in my life. At the moment, it’s all going towards the building fund but I am so excited one day to put it towards a pension or an amazing holiday (hopefully both!). I have spoken to a few people who managed to save up for their wedding dresses through this app and it really takes the thought out of putting money aside.

There are so many extra functions to make use of, too, such as a #PaydayPutAway which can move a designated amount to your Chip account on an assigned payday, overdraft saves, you can add goals as well as highlighting your ‘save streaks’ to help motivate you and offering predictions on how much you’ll save if you kept up the save streak over 50, 100 and 365 days.

If you think you can’t possible save right now, I’d recommend giving Chip a go – I am now a keen saver and seeing every pound put away is the most satisfying feeling. And I am richer.

One woman opens up about rebuilding her credit post divorce.

Once upon a time, I believed in love with a capital L. The man I was looking to share my life with was poetic and passionate, and we would experience a love like I’d read about in books, heard about in music, and watched in films. The love that I’d been raised to recognise was supposed to feel like a rollercoaster or a treacherous journey in wild seas. But the truth is, this kind of love is more often than not a Titanic voyage – complete with the proverbial iceberg. For me, it wasn’t until the day my husband left and the iceberg scraped along the side of our life together, that I realised how I’d let love with a capital L cloud my vision and blind me to reality. And that was especially true when it came to decisions I’d made around my marriage and money.

To lay the groundwork, it’s worth rewinding to see exactly where our conventions around cash and matrimony come from. Until 1870 married women weren’t legally entitled to own property at all. Any money, stocks, furniture, indeed any movable assets she owned before marriage became the property of her husband. While this seems like ancient history, it’s worth remembering how long vestiges of this patriarchal economic model percolated. Up until 1964 any money left over from a wife’s ‘allowance’ given by her husband remained his property, so she couldn’t ever save. It wasn’t until 1975 that a woman was guaranteed a right by law to open a bank account in her own name (source here) and she couldn’t apply for a loan or credit without her father or husband’s say-so until 1980. Through the 80s, a wife’s income had to be declared on her husband’s tax return – meaning he knew exactly what she earned and until 1990 a wife was routinely taxed under her husband’s code. And it wasn’t until ‘96 that legislation was passed to ensure assets were equally split between a couple in the case of divorce – up until then women were awarded only what she was deemed to ‘need’ to live on rather than a fair percentage of the value of the family home or her husband’s income – income he was able to earn while she had been raising children. We have until very recently been living in a social, economic and financial system which united a husband and wife’s financial destinies, often to the detriment of women and that leaves its mark even today.

While our legal and banking systems have changed to enable married women full financial equality, there are still many social forces which subtly guide you towards financial unity as a couple and that unity should be something we question much more, particularly when it comes to the joint bank account. I didn’t bat an eyelid when my ex suggested opening a JBA – it made sense after all, to share the bills and our living costs and we were married. That’s just what you do.

Fast forward four years and the man that I would have trusted with the world, no longer had my best interests at heart. In fact, he had absolutely no interest in my interest, APR or anything financially pressing. Aside from leaving me with the rent, bills, removals and redecoration of our shared abode, his escape and subsequent decision to ignore my pleas to tie up the financial ends meant we had a shared bank account with a large overdraft facility which I couldn’t close without his signature. I couldn’t even put a pause on it. Now instead of sharing a convenient account with someone I loved, I was offering a person I hardly recognised access to money I didn’t even have. For anyone thinking about opening a joint bank account with a boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or spouse, just remember, it’s not just your funds you entrust your other half with – it’s the right to create debts in your name too.

If the joint bank account remains a symbol of marital commitment, the message behind it – that what is yours is his – influences all sorts of other financial decision-making processes. Because my ex had credit issues (like over 27% of people in the country) over our years together, I had agreed to be his guarantor in some of his financial obligations. We were in the same boat, so why would I ever not help him financially? That would make me the worst wife, wouldn’t it? In retrospect, it would have served me far better to think about my own credit rating than try and win wife points, because when my ex took the mobile I’d signed for as a guarantor out of the country, used it willy nilly and ran up literally thousands of pounds worth of debt, guess who was liable? Guess who was threatened with court summons and bailiff visits? Guess who then couldn’t get a new mobile phone contract a few months later? Luckily, we didn’t have a mortgage or child maintenance, or any other more serious joint assets, but this example just goes to show how financial abandonment can wreak damage on your life long after the pain of the split subsides.  

In an ideal world where we could all consciously uncouple from a marriage these issues wouldn’t exist. But in real life, joint banking, assets and property create a complete and utter nightmare. Before you open any account, sign any form, or make any decision which binds you financially to your other half, just consider what would happen if they decided to go AWOL. Even as I’m writing this, I know some people will be reading thinking this clear-headed, fair approach makes me sound cold-hearted and calculating. As if a woman wielding and protecting her financial power from her husband is some sort of harridan behaviour. All I can say is that I would never in a million years have believed that my ex would ever renege on his financial commitments to me. 

Today I’m in a loving relationship and have been for the past six years. I have a child with my partner and we own a property together. In every aspect of my financial life I am extremely protective of myself, drawing up clear contracts and ensuring that the separation of our assets is apparent. We do not have a shared bank account and we do not have joint responsibility for any bill.

Instead, I take charge of a proportion of the outgoings, he takes charge of another proportion. Should we ever split, it is spelled out exactly what would happen financially, and I feel absolutely no shame about being so ‘calculated’ about it. Rebuilding my credit score was a process, but now I’m here, there is no way I’m going back. What I’ve learnt is that real love and marriage shouldn’t be based just on blind faith. Instead, there should be an understanding that even the deepest connections might fade, and every person has a responsibility for their own future. I hope more than anything that I grow old with my boyfriend because he is a fantastic man, but I know there are no guarantees. If it doesn’t work out, there will be consolation in knowing that debtors aren’t ever going to turn up at my door again and what’s mine will still be mine.